Due North
by Tori of Lorien
Summary: [ENDGAME SPOILERS!] Oneshot. She had brought him home. Slight AU.


**Due North**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything from Marvel or the MCU. Unfortunately. I'm just playing around with them for a little bit.

**Summary**: [ENDGAME SPOILERS!] Oneshot. She had brought him home. Slight AU.

**Rating**: T

**Genre**: Angst/Tragedy

**Characters**: Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff, briefly features other Avengers and the Barton family

**Pairings**: Clint Barton/Laura Barton

**Warning**: Major spoilers for Avengers: Endgame ahead! So don't read if you haven't seen it, unless you don't mind being spoiled. Also, this deals with THAT scene with these two characters, so major character death. The way she dies, of course, is also pretty heavy stuff, so warnings apply. Though there will be nothing graphic. Lots of angst, however.

**Author's Note**: Hey! So, Endgame gave me all the feels and inspired quite a few oneshot ideas, and this was the first that shook out. It definitely helped me with all my feels about this particular heartbreakingly beautiful scene. So this will basically just be an expansion of the scene itself, and deeper thoughts written out as basically a stream of consciousness from both Clint and Nat. The AU will be in snippets of other scenes with Clint in the aftermath. It's really small, but there was a detail about Nat that I absolutely ADORED as she was looking for him, and it was something I really wanted to see carried through more, so that's what I did, lol. Also, the dialogue won't be EXACT for this scene, as I've only seen the movie once, but it'll be clear enough, lol. For those of you who are looking for the next chapter of "Newton's Cradle", that'll be up soon! I didn't have too much time to write this week, it was a really busy week, so it should be up in the next few days, hopefully. Fingers crossed. This was about all I had time for to write this week after seeing the movie, lol. With all that said, here we go!

The Stone Keeper had to be making this shit up.

There was no other possible explanation. It didn't matter that Thanos had left this cursed place without his daughter when he'd been collecting the Stones. They would find another way to get this one, they _had _to. There was _no_ way that…

No. He refused to accept it. That _couldn't _mean…

Both of them had climbed up that mountain; he would make damn sure that they both walked back down again with the Stone they needed. They _had_ to. They were so close now. It was still a long shot, but they'd finally found some hope that they could fix everything. That they could restore everything. That they could bring back the people they'd lost, the missing pieces of themselves. It may not work in the long run, but they had to _try_. They owed their loved ones that much.

But he didn't want to try without her. He couldn't. Because without her, he wouldn't have been there to try. Because she had been the one to not give up on him. Even when others may have not wanted to find him due to what he'd done, she'd kept looking. And she had found him.

He remembered standing in the cold Tokyo rain, another victim in a long list of criminals lying dead at his feet, knowing that _she_ had been there. She had watched him take the man's life even as he'd pleaded for it and he hadn't granted it, she'd known he wasn't the first, and yet she had stayed. Even though he'd allowed that person he'd used to be… the man who'd killed without a thought, didn't matter who… before he'd joined S.H.I.E.L.D., the side of him he'd trusted with her, to take over him once again. He had lost himself along the way as he'd sought vengeance for the ones he loved.

But she had been there. As she always had been. She'd told him that killing all these people, even if they'd deserved it, wouldn't bring his family back. But they were just words, words he very well knew were true, and they had provided little comfort. Killing was so ingrained in his nature, it was such an integral part of his DNA. It was a part of him that he'd managed to bury deep over the years, to ignore while he'd worked to do better in his life, but it was still there. Just out of sight, too deep for anyone else to see. But it was always there. Waiting to welcome him back.

And when he had lost the pieces of himself that were keeping him on the straight and narrow, that were holding him together… the light in his life that drove out that inherent darkness in him…

She had still been there. He hadn't taken her hand when she'd offered it. He hadn't earned that salvation. He had instead tried to give back the hope that they could somehow fix things that she'd offered him, he hadn't wanted it. He hadn't deserved it. He had spent a long five years in the dark, in the pouring rain, with no hope of reprieve. With no hope of finding those he loved more than himself while he allowed his demons to consume him. When she had offered him a chance at that…

_"Don't give me hope."_

… did he really deserve it? Did he deserve to have his wife, his children back after all he'd done? What he had become again? He did know that they didn't deserve whatever had happened to them, despite his sins. They were innocent, unlike him. _Why hadn't it been him?_

But did he really deserve to take the chance to try to bring Laura, Cooper, Lila, and Nathaniel… to bring _everyone_… back?

He wasn't a hero.

_"I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you sooner."_

She had still given him the hope he hadn't wanted, that he'd tried to reject. Hadn't deserved. She had planted the seed in his heart, that fool's hope that he could again hold his wife, hold his children, and not let them go. To see their smiling faces, to hear their laughter, to tell them he loved them. Just one more time. He would give anything for that.

Anything.

Even if it meant…

She'd taken his hand. She'd used her umbrella to shield them both from the cold, unrelenting rain. She'd worn a necklace with a simple silver arrow pendant, used to guide her to him. And filled with a hope he did not want, he'd held her hand. Together, they may have been able to pull this off after all. He'd taken a clear, full breath for what had felt like the first time with her at his side after five long years of wandering.

She had brought him home.

But now…

They had climbed up that mountain together. But it seemed as though one of them wasn't going to be making it off of it again. Even though they just _had_ to… _Together._ Like it should be…

The painful truth was starting to settle in for them both, he could see it in her defeated posture. _A soul for a soul._ The instructions couldn't be more clear. One of them was going to have to lose one more thing, to lose one more person they loved. One of them had to pay that price. One of them had to die.

_"I guess we both know who it's gotta be."_

Him.

He'd already lost so much. He was weary. While it meant that he wouldn't be able to see it, the hope she'd given him continued to bloom. That if they could just get this damn Stone, the universe could be restored. His family would be restored.

Even if he wouldn't be there to greet them.

He could do that.

It had to be him. It had to be him if it meant his family would live. He could die if it meant knowing his wife and children had a chance. He would die for that. There was no other way. He couldn't bear to lose anything else.

He couldn't lose her, too.

_"I'm starting to think we mean different people here, Natasha."_

He could see what she meant to do. That she meant to make that leap. And he couldn't let it happen.

They'd argued about it, had each made their case. Had each bared their sins. Had forgiven the other of them. Even though she knew what he had become again. She hadn't judged, even though she had all the right to. But he had never judged her on her worst mistakes.

And he understood how she wanted to cleanse the red from her ledger; he wanted to do that, too. But she'd done that, even if she couldn't see it; he hadn't. She'd done so much good for their team, the family they'd created. She'd done better. He'd slipped up, he'd killed more. He'd welcomed that darkness in him again. She'd saved him. She had brought him home. That should have been enough for her. She'd settled her debt she'd felt she'd owed him and then some.

It couldn't be her. He couldn't let her. She had so much good left to do. It had to be him.

There was no other way.

_"Whatever it takes."_

It had to be him.

_He beamed as he high-fived Lila, pride blooming in his chest after she'd hit her target with one of his arrows._

_Cooper tossed a ball to his younger brother, grinning when he caught it before he threw it back._

_Laura smiled when she called them all over to enjoy their outdoor lunch on the beautiful, clear day._

_Nathaniel caught the ball again as he, apparently the little rebel, requested ketchup on his hot dog._

These were the last memories he had of his family before they'd all been reduced to dust in the wind. They were his world, the air he breathed. He couldn't live any longer without them. He couldn't bear to think of how they would see him if they knew what he'd done, how he'd reverted back to his old way of life, because he'd been so lost without them. They deserved to be returned to this world, even if it meant he would no longer be a part of it. He was all right with that. As long as his death ensured their chance to keep on living.

It had to be him. For them.

It had to be.

This time, he slowly took her hand, squeezed it gently. Gave her hope. Assured her it was okay.

"You're a pain in my ass, you know that?"

A ghost of a smile flitted across her pale face.

Their foreheads touched. Their eyes closed, their breath came softly. Love… a different sort of love that belonged to them alone… was shared between them, was understood. Their wills pushed silently against the other's, fighting for dominance. He drew courage, he drew strength from her to prepare for what he was about to do. She had to understand that this could go no other way now. It had to be him, it couldn't be her. He had to do this for his wife and children. To make it up to them. To absolve himself of all he'd done these past five years. If he didn't, if he allowed her to take the leap in his place, he couldn't forgive himself.

She had to live, to see all the good she'd done and all that she could still do. She had been absolved of her sins while he had returned to his. She had to return to their family with the Stone to continue the mission. He had to redeem himself, to cleanse his own ledger again after all he'd done.

She had nothing else that needed to be forgiven.

She had to let him go.

_Laura… Cooper… Lila… Nathaniel… I'm sorry… I wish I could see you, just one more time… But it's better this way… I love you…_

He gave her a disarming smile. One she knew well.

"Okay. You win."

She nodded briefly. Accepted it.

Even though he couldn't allow it.

She took a deep breath. Prepared.

He took her down. Pinned her arms down.

"Tell my family I love 'em."

She was too familiar with his tricks. She knew him too well.

She flipped them over. Quickly stood. Aimed her fist, her weapon, at him.

"You tell them yourself."

She hit him with a Widow's Bite. Heard his cry. She had to get him to stop fighting her. To let her make the leap. For him. For his family. For her family. For all those that had been lost.

He watched with dread as she ran toward the cliff edge.

Why couldn't she understand that it had to be this way? That it was supposed to be him? That it _had_ to be him?

She had too much to live for, too much left to do. She had nothing to atone for. He couldn't allow her to throw that all away.

Not for him. Never for him.

He ripped the Widow's Bite off. Breathed a sigh of relief when the electric surge stopped.

He quickly stood. Fired an explosive arrow after her.

He watched her fall, cringing in pain from the force of the detonation not far from her.

He seized his chance.

He looked down at her as he passed her, their gazes meeting. One last time. He was grateful, at ease, knowing that her face was going to be one of the last things he'd see before that darkness in him consumed him completely.

Even though in her so-familiar features now, he could see the dread, the betrayal, the _fear_ she felt…

He looked ahead of him at the sharp drop that was quickly approaching. He held his breath. He saw his wife's beautiful smile in his mind…

_… Laura…_

… and without hesitation, he leapt over the edge, consumed by the cold, unforgiving abyss.

* * *

She'd accepted that one of them would have to die, that one of them wouldn't be making it down that mountain again, before he had. She had seen it in the way he'd grappled with it, resisted it. Struggled with it, determined to find any other possible way. Resented it when he hadn't been able to. Became resigned to it. Decided without a doubt that it would be him that would make that leap.

But she couldn't let him do it. It couldn't be him.

It couldn't be.

She had red in her ledger, and she wanted to get rid of it. All of it. To start over with a clean slate and a family she never thought she'd have because she didn't deserve it. She wanted to do better with her life. To still do better.

That was it.

He'd told her that she had. But it felt like it wasn't enough. That it would never be enough. She may have done some good while part of this team. She may have done a good deed in finding him, in chasing him, in bringing him home when he'd been a wayward soul. Even though others hadn't wanted to even try to find him because of the things he'd done. She'd had no choice in that regard. He'd done the same for her. She hadn't been able to give up on him when he hadn't given up on her. When he hadn't judged her for her past transgressions. She couldn't just leave him.

She'd had to save him.

And she had to do it again.

Because it wasn't enough. It would never be enough. There was still red in her ledger, and she had to get rid of every last bit of it.

And if she could save him now…

She used to have nothing. This family of misfits belonged to her now. These people were the most important things to her. She had to hold on to the hope that they could win, that they could restore the rest of their family. Restore the rest of the loved ones everyone else had lost.

She had brought it upon herself to do just that for the past five years. She couldn't give up on it now. If she could do something, if she could give them a piece they needed to have even a chance of victory… even if it meant she wouldn't be there to see it…

… if she could save his soul now…

She watched after him, pain shooting through her limbs from the rough landing, as he made a last, desperate dash toward the edge of the cliff. _A soul for a soul._ Those were the requirements. A sacrifice of someone that another truly loved. All for this Stone they needed to ensure the survival of the universe. Of those they loved.

All for a chance…

_"Whatever it takes."_

Love. Love was such a foolish notion. _Love is for children_. At least, that was what she had always been taught.

She had been wrong.

Because, she realized… she did love him. Her debt to him had been paid some time ago, but love for him had remained. Had grown. She didn't love him like Laura did, or how he loved her in turn, but… she did.

It wasn't so straightforward as that, there wasn't a simple name for it. Not one that was recognizable, at least. The love between them was unspoken but understood by both. Only they seemed to speak its language. Understood when it spoke to them. They were two halves of the same whole, two all-too similar but drastically different sides of the same tarnished coin. He held a part of her heart, a part of her soul, that she had never known existed. But it had always belonged to him. Just as she always carried a part of his. It made her feel complete, just as she knew it did him.

It was a rare kind of love, a love that didn't have a name. But they understood it, and always had. No one loved the other like they did, no one else ever would. They understood each other. They had always been entwined…

… and somehow, she felt as though she had always known, deep down, that it would come down to this moment. Just the two of them at the edge of the universe, faced with an impossible choice. Faced with a crippling loss that would stay with either of them forever.

Could she really let him go? Could she let him sacrifice his life if it meant she could still have the family she'd finally gained after all this time?

Could she live with her family, with herself, while he died for the chance to save his?

The moment she'd always known would come had arrived. It was just them at the edge of the universe. The love they shared between them was being bared plainly to the heavens as she watched him head straight toward that cliff. Time seemed to slow around her the closer he got to the edge. He was willing to make that leap. For his family. For her. For the universe.

_Was she willing to do the same?_

She didn't know what would happen to her if she were to lose that part of her that he'd always carried along with him. It scared her.

If she were to give him back the part of him that she held close to her and protected, perhaps that would be enough to help heal his ravaged soul.

_Red… so much red…_

She'd come so close to clearing her ledger, to finally getting rid of all that red. She could almost feel it, it was right within reach. All she had to do was grasp it, and it would be hers. She would finally be free. She could spend the rest of her life with the people she cared about after they finished their mission and everyone who had vanished was back. Like they were supposed to be. She could pass along his final words to his wife and children. She could tell them about his brave and selfless act that had brought them one step closer to ensuring their success. She could be there for them, the woman and the three children she loved who had accepted her into their family.

But he wouldn't be there.

And a world without him in it wasn't much of a world at all.

She imagined his broken body lying on the hard ground far below. She imagined his lifeblood staining the unforgiving stone beneath him. Giving this damned place what it wanted, what it cruelly demanded.

_Red… so much red…_

And more red would be added back to her ledger. If she were to let him die…

Did he not understand why it had to be her? Did he not understand why she had to do this for _her_ family?

For _him_?

It _had_ to be her.

There was no other way.

Her breath caught in her chest. Her heart nearly stopped. Her eyes widened in horror when he leapt from the edge of the cliff.

_Red…_

She was on her feet even before he disappeared from sight. She ran after him without a thought. Without hesitation.

She had brought him home. She only regretted that she hadn't been able to do so sooner.

But she could now ensure that he made it all the way home.

_… so much red…_

It couldn't happen this way.

It _had_ to be her…

She leapt off the edge of the cliff after him. To save him.

To bring him home.

Because she couldn't let him go.

She could never let him go.

It was always meant to be her.

She reached out after him, her grasping fingers finding him. She then fired a grappling line back up toward the edge of the cliff, hoping, praying that it would find its mark as she attempted to get a more secure hold on him from where she clung to his back. She saw the panic, the dread, the _fear_ on his face as he looked back up at her. Tried to pull away. She ignored it. She wouldn't let him. She remained focused on her mission.

Her last mission.

Her most important mission.

Bring him home.

They tumbled through the empty air, a tangle of limbs. She felt the line go taut. She connected it to him, halting his descent.

And she let go of him. Closed her eyes as she continued to freefall…

This was it.

She had done it.

No more red in her ledger.

But she didn't get far before his frantically grasping hand wrapped around her arm, stopping her fall. Robbing her of her choice. Keeping himself from losing someone else she knew he loved.

Preventing them from gaining the Stone they needed to bring their loved ones back home.

They crashed into the rocky wall behind them. She cried out at the impact, even as he took the brunt of it for her.

The two of them swayed gently together, a perilous acrobatic act suspended over certain death. Over a chance at salvation.

_Together._

He reached back with his free hand, trying to get a firm hold on the line to make sure that it could hold them both.

"Damn you."

His rough, anguished voice was broken, defeated, as the realization of the impossible choice he was now forced to make settled in.

The impossible position that she had put him in.

For him.

She had stolen his choice, his chance, from him.

He hadn't expected her to follow him.

This was not what he wanted, she knew as she watched him frantically continue to grip at the line keeping them both from plummeting to their deaths far below. Desperately, she saw, to try to pull them back up to safety. Both of them. Focusing on their lifeline. To prevent the fate that awaited them. To prevent what would have to happen now.

_Red…_

He still thought it had to be him. But he was wrong. It had to be her. It always had to be her. To save their families.

To bring him home.

To save herself.

_… so much red…_

No more.

He let go of the line, reached his free hand down toward hers to try to get a better hold on her, to pull her up. But his fingers only brushed against hers, feather light, before the thin line holding him gave just a bit, and he frantically grabbed onto it again to try to keep it steady. To make sure it would hold.

But she wasn't sure how much longer the line would hold them both. She didn't trust how secure its hold was in the rocks above them. She glanced down at the fate that awaited them both should the line give.

Before they both fell… before she could lose him…

… he would have to let go. Let her go.

She gave him a small, genuine smile as she looked up at him. Her eyes were a little wide. Imploring.

There was the slightest trace of fear there.

But his hand around her arm gave her strength. Gave her courage.

He turned back to her. Their gazes met. Tears that refused to fall filled his eyes.

She could still save him.

"Let me go."

* * *

Her soft plea landed on his ears as his breath hitched.

_Let me go._

How could he do that? How could she be so selfish to expect that of him? To expect something from him that he could not give? To make that choice for him? How could she expect him to live with that for the rest of his life while she…?

She…

He couldn't let her go.

He could never let her go.

"No."

His answer was firm, steadfast. He couldn't do that. He wouldn't do that. He would never forgive himself. Not for being unable to save his family when he had the chance. Not for letting her die in his place.

For him.

He tightened his hand on the line above him. He could still save her. He could pull her up. They could climb to the top of the cliff. Together. As it should be. They could work this out. Together. They…

His gaze briefly landed on the hard ground far beneath them before moving back to her imploring gaze. His confidence wavered. His panic rose. More tears pricked his eyes.

They needed that Stone. He knew that. They needed to restore the universe. That was their mission. And they were on the very precipice of doing just that.

_But at what price?_

She was expecting him to pay it by letting her go. But it could still be him. It had to be him. It was supposed to be him. Not her…

Never her…

He couldn't let her go…

Anguish crossed his face as the tears threatened to fall. He shook his head. Pleaded with her.

"… Please no…"

She continued to look back up at him with gentle encouragement. With patience. With understanding. Trying to comfort him. To give him the strength needed to do what he now had to do. It was the first time he had ever seen her so full of compassion.

Of love.

Toward him.

Even though he'd always known it was there.

Because he loved her, too. It was something they had always shared, in their own way.

He just wasn't used to it being on full display. She knew that well.

It was the last chance they would ever have.

She nodded ever so slightly. Swallowed against the tears threatening to rise to her own eyes. Kept her eyes locked on his and only his.

She had to be strong. For him.

The little trace of fear vanished.

"It's okay."

The assurance, the comfort came out as only a whisper. But he still heard it clearly, the words piercing his very core. He found no comfort in it.

It was anything but okay. Losing her wouldn't be okay.

He knew what she expected of him.

But he couldn't do it.

He couldn't let her go.

He tightened his hold on her arm, desperate to keep her with him. To somehow let him be the one dangling above the unforgiving rocks below without a lifeline instead. He would give anything for that.

He fumbled with that very line holding him, preventing the fall to his demise. Frantic to find a way to… any way to…

No… this was all wrong…

It was supposed to be him… he had made that leap…

The Stone didn't matter.

She did.

… It wasn't supposed to be her… She shouldn't have followed him… She shouldn't have expected him to do the impossible… She shouldn't have put him in this position… It would kill him right along with her to do it…

… He could never let her go…

It had to be _him_…

Despair… agony… all at the reality of what he now had to do… crossed his face. A single tear leaked from his eye. Dripped onto her cheek.

There had to be another way… any other way… there _had_ to be…

It couldn't end like this…

She couldn't die here, all alone in this godforsaken place…

Not like this.

She had to let him go.

Not the other way around…

But it was futile. He knew that. There was no other way.

She had done this… It was all her fault…

He had to let her go…

… but he couldn't. He could never let her go.

He _needed_ her.

He blinked against his tears.

"… Please…"

He wasn't sure who he was pleading with this time. Who he was begging with in his anguish to spare her life. No matter what the cost to him. The Keeper of the Stone, perhaps. Or some unknown deity that forgot about whoever journeyed to this cursed altar.

Or maybe… it was her… to make her take the damn line. To pull herself up to safety. To let him unhook it from himself. To let him save his family. To let him fall in her place…

_Why did it have to be her?_

Why couldn't it have been him? Like it should have been?

Why had she done this?

He couldn't…

It was then she grit her teeth. Kicked away from the rocky cliff.

He hadn't been expecting the sudden force behind the motion.

He had her hand in his briefly, the hope that he could save her too fleeting, before it was ripped from his by her momentum.

She fell.

"_Nat_!"

* * *

His scream, her name… rough, broken, pleading, desperate, anguished, full of despair… echoed in the air around her as she plummeted toward the hard ground far below her.

He would be okay.

He never should have been put in that position, to choose between her life or damning the universe. It hadn't been fair. It was a choice he shouldn't have been forced to make. She shouldn't have made him do it.

But she'd had to. She'd had no other choice.

Because he hadn't let her make that leap.

She knew he would have made the right choice in time. Even if it was one he was desperate not to have to make willingly. The rest of their team, his family… they were all depending on him now. He would be strong. Her life was a small price to pay for that.

Though time had been slipping away. She still wasn't sure how long the line would have held them both. But he would be all right now. She had saved him.

She was returning the part of his heart, his soul to him that she'd sheltered for so long. He would be whole again. He would heal.

This was the way it should be. He would understand that in time, too. When he could hold his wife, his children again… he would know. He would know that this was how things should always have gone.

Things were as they should be.

She watched him until he was too small to see, wanting him to be the last thing she saw.

She closed her eyes. She pictured his smiling face in her mind. Heard his cheerful laughter. Felt his strong arms around her. Felt his heart beating along with her own.

A small smile formed on her face.

She had saved him.

She had brought him home.

* * *

His eyes were wide as he watched her fall. Slipping further and further away from him. Out of his reach…

… until…

He squeezed his eyes shut and turned away, grasping his lifeline with both shaking hands. He cursed it. Cursed it for suspending him high above the ground far below. Cursed her for her trick. For using it to save him instead of herself. To force him to let her go…

For a fleeting moment, he considered unhooking himself. To let himself fall. To join her.

… Together…

… As it should have been…

… It should have been him…

… Not her…

… _Never her_…

What would happen with the Stone then? He didn't know.

But he was there for a reason. They both had been. He had a Stone to collect, a mission to complete. A universe to restore.

His family to save.

He couldn't let her sacrifice mean nothing.

_… Had it been worth it…?_

… It should have been him…

Keeping one hand on the line, he allowed himself to hang loose again, reaching his other hand out toward her lifeless form far below. As though he could somehow still save her, grab her, hold her close, bring her with him…

Tears spilled freely from his eyes as he watched her life seep into the stone beneath her, giving this damned place what it demanded. What it had wanted from him. What it had taken from him.

_A soul for a soul._

By why her…?

It should have been him…

… Not her…

Thick clouds swirled around him.

He held on tightly to the line with both hands. He raised his gaze to the tumultuous heavens as tears streamed down his cheeks. He closed his eyes as a blinding light erupted around him.

And, in a cruel twist of fate, as darkness still took him, too.

* * *

He gasped, finding himself lying in a shallow body of water. The horizon had calmed, taken on a soft orange hue. He had ended up at the bottom of the mountain.

He slowly sat up, soaked through and shivering, feeling something small and warm resting in his palm. A soft orange glow emanated from the Stone as he gazed blankly down at it.

_A soul for a soul._

Such a small thing to receive in return for her life.

Something smooth and cool rested in his other hand.

Her silver arrow pendant necklace wound around his fingers.

It must have somehow slipped off in their scuffle. Or when they'd both been hanging off the side of the cliff.

When he'd been forced to let her go.

He tightened his hands around the pendant and the Stone. He slammed both of his fists into the water. A sob broke through his lips. His body trembled as tears fell freely.

Both items meant nothing without her.

Yet he could not afford to lose either.

* * *

"Clint, where's Nat?"

It was an answer he still couldn't give. He couldn't tell them why he had returned without her. Not fully. Not aloud.

So he remained silent.

He couldn't bring himself to look Banner in the eye. Or Steve. Not at anyone on their team.

But it seemed to be enough.

"It should have been me."

And it should have. It always should have been.

It was his fault that it had been her.

He should have expected her to leap after him.

All his fault.

_I'm sorry… I tried… I really did…_

The rest of the team mourned differently. Tears. Anger. Desperation to find a way to get her back. Determination to move forward.

But it wouldn't be that easy.

They would have time for sorrow and rage later. They would have time to deny it, or to cry until no more tears came, or to curse Thanos or throw benches until they had no voice to use or there was nothing left to throw.

She had died for that Stone, had bet her life on it. It was time to use it.

No amount of space magic would bring her back to them. The Stone's covenant was final. No returns. It was done.

_A soul for a soul._

How could they move forward without her? It seemed impossible…

But so had their choice on the side of that damned cliff.

They would have to keep moving forward to not let her death, her sacrifice for them… _her family_… mean nothing.

Her life for billions more…

They had to keep moving. They had to return those they'd lost. They had to win.

They owed her that much.

He slipped the thin silver chain around his neck, fastening the clasp. The arrow pendant rested against his chest.

He would keep going. For her.

She would keep him safe.

She would bring him home.

* * *

The ringing in his ears was nearly deafening. He groaned, trying to move his arms, then his legs to see if anything was broken. He still had feeling in his fingers, his toes. His neck cracked a little when he moved it. His head was pounding.

Everything hurt.

He opened his eyes to see where he had landed in what remained of the compound. It was dark, lit only by a crimson light. There was rubble everywhere. The gauntlet they'd made was lying a short distance away.

At least that was safe.

The gauntlet…

… it had worked…

… it had really worked…

_Laura._

He had heard her voice… his wife was alive… Her voice had invaded all his senses, and… and then…

_Where had that damned blast come from?_

No one had seen it coming…

… they should have expected it…

… but it appeared their enemy was bringing the fight to them.

He groaned as he slowly pushed himself to his knees. He frantically grasped at the thin chain around his neck. His labored breath eased just a little when he felt the cool, smooth arrow pendant in his shaking palm. He closed his eyes. He held it close to his chest.

She would keep him safe.

_Bring me home…_

* * *

He stood looking out at the still, glittering lake, allowing the peaceful sight and sounds to ease his troubled mind. He was battered and bruised. He was exhausted. Weary.

He had just finished burying another friend. A friend who had saved them all

He despised that he'd never had the chance to do the same for her.

It was something she deserved as well.

He would never allow her to be forgotten. Not until his own dying breath.

She would live on.

The universe had been returned to how it'd always been before. Those who had been lost were home again. Thanos and his army were gone. Wiped from existence.

But a piece of him would always remain missing. Even in light of their victory. His world, his universe, would never be complete again.

But he had heard his wife's voice. _Laura…_ She... Cooper... Lila... Nathaniel... they were _there_. He'd held them. Though there was still no place he'd rather be at that moment than at home. On his farm. In her arms. With his children.

He could be content to put down the bow now, to put this life behind him. It was no longer important. He no longer wanted that burden. That responsibility.

He hadn't been able to save one of the most important people to him.

Cautious footsteps approached him. He spared a brief glance over his shoulder. Wanda. He sighed, reaching up and lightly grasping the arrow pendant around his neck. Somehow, it had remained with him, untarnished, in the battle with Thanos.

"You know, I wish there was a way that I could tell her that we won." His voice was quiet. He squinted up at the sun through the leaves of the trees around them, at where the light was reflecting off the water in front of them. "That we did it."

Wanda glanced over at him. Her gaze landed on the silver necklace he wore. A small, knowing smile appeared on her face. She rested her slender, ringed fingers on the hand that held the pendant. His lifeline.

He had missed the kid, he realized. And he couldn't be more grateful that she had been returned to them unharmed. Her presence now was comforting.

"She knows," she assured him just as quietly. She looked around them as well, taking a deep breath as the sunlight warmed her face. "They both do."

Neither of them moved for a moment. Neither spoke a word.

She had provided him with a comfort he had certainly needed.

He then wrapped an arm around her. She did the same, leaning into him.

The silver pendant was cool against his palm.

She was going to lead him home.

* * *

He let the front door close behind him as he stepped outside, going down the few porch steps before walking across the long, swaying grass. His gaze passed over the tended fields. Over Cooper and Nathaniel playing catch. Over Laura hanging some laundry on the line to dry. Over Lila stretched out on the wooden picnic table, drawing something in her sketchbook.

It was a perfect day.

Just as it should be.

He hummed a cheerful tune under his breath as he made his way to the thick, sturdy oak tree across the field. He slowed to a stop in its shade, his song quieting as he studied the array of red and white flowers he and Laura had arranged there. Among them were a few drawings by his daughter, a teddy bear from his youngest boy, and a letter about how important she had been to them from his oldest.

A memorial.

A small, insufficient way to keep her alive in his memory. Even though he knew she would never truly leave it.

Not her.

Never her.

But at least it was something. Something he could always come to when he needed her. To remember her.

With a heavy sigh, he dropped to a knee in front of the display. The love for this important piece of his life. He briefly picked up Nathaniel's teddy bear, dusting it off a bit, before making sure Cooper's letter and Lila's drawings, all protected by frames, were clean. He deftly plucked a couple of dead petals off the flowers. They would have to look into more soon.

He then turned his attention to the simple effigy of her among the floral display. One that he had crafted himself. One that bore her name.

A moment passed before he reached up and unfastened the necklace from around his neck, the silver arrow pendant gleaming in the light of the afternoon sun. He delicately traced his thumb over the smooth surface before draping it over her likeness, securely fastening it so that it would stay in place. It hung around her neck, the pendant lingering over her heart.

A gentle hand landed on his shoulder from behind. It was a touch he knew instantly.

_Laura_.

He rested his hand over hers, squeezing her fingers. A lifeline. He closed his eyes against the tears that formed, a quiet sob breaking through his lips.

Laura knelt beside him, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close to her. She rested her head against his as he cried, and he felt her light breath brush across his cheek as she whispered two words of comfort.

"It's okay."

And though the tears still came as he held his wife close to him, he felt for the first time that it was. He was okay.

He lightly pressed his lips to her temple.

They had won. Things were back to the way they had been, to the way they were supposed to be.

For the most part.

He had his family back. Because of her. And for that, he couldn't be more grateful.

He looked back at the effigy. He traced his thumb over the arrow pendant again. His gaze passed over her familiar features, over her name. The face and name that were always etched into his mind.

She had been guided to him. She hadn't given up on him. She had found him.

She had saved him.

She had brought him home.

And now, he had brought her home.

**The End**

**Author's Note**: All right, that's it for this one! Much love to both Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff. Thanks for reading!


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